I shared these words below on Instagram two days ago, so I would like to share it here as well. I want to thank everyone for their kindness and emails and words of comfort. I also want everyone to know I am okay, and surrounded by friends, work, holiday cheer and hope.
Last night I stayed up and watched the moon rise and set high in the cold sky and painted a coyote running through the forest with a lantern. It's time to make my own light. It's time for all of us to try and make the shadows dissapear as the solstice slinks closer.
IG POST - 11-21-21
November has been rough. In the last week especially. There's been heartbreak, big life changes, lots of perspective about the past few months. I've been rotating between a lot of emotions and trying to be quieter with them.
But despite all this there's been amazing community and kindness, even solutions for some of these problems. Lots of hope and work and love!
My girlfriend and I broke up, ending our relationship. I'm considering a roommate if I can find a right fit. Having two people here was a game changer.
The plumbing shit the bed, and it turned out a professional had to come help unclog the septic (too much rain and tp = bad news) but now everything drains and showers are extra great!
I lost access to a vehicle and was able to get a small loan for a used car. Now there's a car parked outside the farmhouse again. I can get around, to feed stores and appointments or to the laundromat.
I finally caved and got a SIM card and prepaid cell plan for a used iphone 6. I'm adjusting to it beeping all the time, but now all the people, appointments, and businesses who got used to texting over the past two years can continue to. And I feel safer, a lot safer, having a 911 machine while outdoors on my own.
The mortgage is caught up to this month. I'm still working a part time SEO writing job and looking for more similar work. I have Slack on my phone now so understand people can and do change 😁
I have been embracing things I have neglected over the summer, at least in spirit. I'm watching Thru Hiking vlogs with morning coffee. Hunting at dawn. My friend Patty and I are going to harness up her team of horses for a carriage ride. I might even trap a bird again to have a winter project? Other friends and I have plans for walks and movie nights and the upcoming holidays.
The farm is settling into winter - finally prepared with a lot of hay and firewood. I am grateful for the help I had preparing.
I'm starting the book proposal over, keeping the writing. This story keeps changing but the woman writing it is the same - someone trying to figure out the best life for her heart and spirit.
I am excited for the trails ahead.
If anyone wants to make an offer on the coyote painting all the money earned goes towards the November mortgage. Shipping is free. Send me an email if you'd like her.