Daylight
The solstice crawls closer and closer, meaning both hope and fear. Hope for the celebration of more daylight and all the fuss of the holidays. Fear in that we are heading into the darkest of weeks before the dawn, days of cold and sunsets at 2PM on this side of the mountain. It can make a woman sad. Good thing I stay busy.
I wake up early these days. I just want to be in the sunlight. I get up early, 4-5AM and light the fire and have the house warm by the time chores are done. I am writing again - as in writing daily word counts towards the goal of this new book.
Right now all I am focused on is getting as many sales and orders in for the holidays to cover the November mortgage soon as possible. My social media is basically a farm stand, for better or worse. I can not wait till I get to the point where I am not so dependent on daily sales, but that is what the book dedication time is about. Putting in those early morning hours in hopes that by fall I have sold my story of the past ten years and it can help other people in the same situation - which is terrified of themselves and leaning towards isolation - and that there is a healing process that isn't blocked by money, travel, or spirituality. You can't Eat, Pray, Love yourself into being a better person in 18 months. But you can claw uphill to it if you're stubborn enough. I was. Maybe my hope can help bolster another?
The farm got covered in snow last week. Now it drips and melts and turns to ice in the night. I did get to go out and play in it a little. Snowshoed with the dogs, watched the new tracks on the path. I stopped trying to hunt a deer. I didn't have the heart to stay out for hours in the cold just to kill the first soul that happens upon me just because he happens to be a guy with antlers. I do still kinda want to trap a late season hawk, to give me a project for winter that isn't just pouring my heart into a laptop.
More writing, and more positive updates soon. On the whole things are steady here. I am healthy. The animals are healthy. The farm is moving through this dark period and excited for the daylight ahead. I can only hope the same for you.